Allowing Myself To Rest

It’s been some time since I’ve posted here. The past couple of months have been very difficult and, well, after talking some with the disability resource center at my university and doing a lot of thinking in the past two weeks I’ve decided to take a leave of absence from my department for awhile.

I’m taking pretty much all of 2015 off, which is intimidating because it feels like I’m admitting defeat somehow, but in the end I think this is going to be a good idea. I’m not planning to leave my research alone during this time off, quite the opposite actually. I’m probably going to be more productive with my writing once I get a chance to let myself really rest for a bit.

I’ve needed this break ever since the sexual assault two years ago, but I didn’t even know it was an option. I didn’t think it’d be possible for me to pull off financially or professionally but, after having some bad scares with ideation in the past month, I decided to ask today and my department chair was completely understanding and has already approved my leave.

I’m still a bit in shock that it was that easy and I’m aware of the level of luck and privilege that is allowing me to take time off from working in this way, where I’ll have a guaranteed job once I’m back. It’s no small thing to have this opportunity, given the general lack of support for people with disabilities in the U.S.

So, I guess we’ll see what happens during this next year. I’ll probably be a lot more active on this blog again! No matter what, though, I think this break was overdue for a very long time.

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2 thoughts on “Allowing Myself To Rest

  1. Good luck! I also had a crapload of guilt about taking this semester off; we’re trained to believe that taking any sort of break from academia means “giving up”, and it takes a bunch of work to deprogram ourselves of that damaging ideology. But having taken the time off, it’s totally worth it. Keeping yourself healthy and sane is the first priority, all else is icing. Take care

  2. I’m glad to hear you’re taking care of yourself. I know that taking time off, zooming out and thinking about things from another perspective has been very important in my life. I hope it’s valuable for you too!

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